A mentor that I have a ton of respect for messaged me in a health coaching Facebook group and said “Angie Catron I’m checking on you”. She was checking to see if I had followed through on a goal I set several months ago to launch a health coaching program.
I haven’t launched it and I’m still not ready too. I’ve let circumstances beyond my control take over my life. Granted they aren’t your typical excuses- it’s not that I don’t have time or that I’m too busy or that because I’ve let other things get in the way of my “side hustle”.
It’s that for months my life has been an out of control roller coaster. It started with my Father passing away unexpectedly last July from a massive heart attack and I found him. We had a distant relationship and although I didn’t know his wishes, I became administrator for his estate and began working through selling all his belongings and preparing his house to go on the market.
My family already had a vacation scheduled 2 weeks after he died. We had planned it months earlier so we went- our 25th Anniversary cruise- and I just tried to catch my breath and regroup.
As soon as we got back travel soccer started- I was driving my son to practice an hour away 3 nights a week and to games that were 2-4 hours away most weekends.
No sooner than we returned from our cruise, my oldest son moved into his own apartment to go to college and as soon as travel soccer finished my younger son got his driver’s license. These were good things, but still change. I was dealing with constant changes and with the holidays upon us I had a huge autoimmune flare up. Every symptom I’d gotten rid of a couple of years before was back with a vengeance. Anxiety and depression were new ones.
It felt like that roller coaster flew off a cliff and that I was drowning in deep, murky water. I so desperately need to come up for air but I didn’t know which way was up because there was so much darkness surrounding me.
I’m not a drama person, so I was ready for things to calm down and for all of this to be over. The New Year was upon me and I felt like it was time to get back in control- of my health and several other things.
But God didn’t agree. My younger son tore his meniscus and stretched his ACL playing basketball. This was devastating to him because soccer season wasn’t far off. We got him through surgery and things were looking good as far as being able to return to soccer.
Once again I thought I was done with the drama and could regroup- then my Mom had another heart attack. I was able to get her to the hospital and they did a cardiac catheterization. In the coming weeks she’ll be scheduled for a procedure that will clamp the hole in her heart that has gotten bigger (which will help reduce her risk of another stroke).
I’ve been caught up in drama for months, one thing after another, not knowing when it would end. I have had a lot of anxiety and a hard time focusing. But someone saying “I’m checking on you” reminded me to check on myself. I know we can’t control the circumstances in our lives- I can’t control any of the things I just mentioned- but we can control how we react to them.
I realize I’ve gotten so caught up in all of this that I lost my focus. I let all my goals fall to the wayside. I haven’t taken care of myself and I’ve ate my feelings and internalized my emotions. So while I’d love to be the coach that could tell you exactly how to get from surviving to thriving-by using this program that I wanted to launch- I’m not there right now, because I’m starting over myself.
All I can do at this point is share my journey. Share what’s working and what isn’t working. Share who I am - a stressed out, adrenal fatigued, peri-menopausal mess who’s trying to find her way back to a healthier version of herself- and share where I’m at. I’m hoping with my knowledge and past experience I’ll be able to get there quickly, and share with you how to get there to.
What about you? Where are you at in life? Are you where you planned to be? Do you need to regroup and refocus? I’m checking on you.
